A new divide I created within, to make sense of the infinite futility that lies inside…

Inertia-Mania

Every night I kill myself with my thoughts, and every morning I’m resurrected. As the skies become darker and I spend my nights alone, I enter a realm of confusion which engulfs my life, and keeps me lost within. The confusion always tends to be deep and never ending, and full of questions. As usual I seek out the answers to these mindfucking questions, and I’m left with more questions which are cleverly disguised as answers.

My thoughts wind around my life and who I wanna be. As long as I can remember, I have dreamt of making it big someday. But the days are running by so fast, that sometimes all I can do is dream. I look back at the past few years of my life (which I believe would have been the ideal time to put my dreams into action) and think to myself ‘am I too late?’ How did life pass me by? Where was I looking?

Everyday we dream of being bigger and better persons than we already are. Why can’t we ever be content of who we are? Is every person like this (as I believe) or am I the only one falling to bits, over minute problems which are barely visible? Is it possible to achieve what I want to, or is it just a pipe dream. Thoughts like this get me down. Makes me feel like life is not worth living. I just don’t want my life to be so mundane.

As I sit alone, against the deafening silence of my room, I make up my mind to take a stand against my life. Against the voices in my head that say I can’t do it. I want to wake the voices that whisper words of encouragement and hope in my head every night. Those voices can be hardly heard in the morning, when our real life is drowned out by the life that we live. And I think to myself for what could be the umpteenth time in life that..

I’m going to do it, someday, someway, somehow, before it’s too late…

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2 responses

  1. stfallen

    aaah”left with more questions which are cleverly disguised as answers.” can relate to that man… sometimes it’s just better not to think… ignorance is blissdude search my blog for Questionand Lostread them… I’ve been there man…Wake the voices!you’ve just been added to my blogroll dudekeep ’em coming!

    July 18, 2008 at 9:20 am

  2. FRGT10

    so true.. thanks

    July 19, 2008 at 1:23 am

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