Blackexists’ post on roach fear brought to my memory an extremely bad experience in my life. It is something I have to live with forever, I think.
The following is a true story (unfortunately). Read it with an open mind and do not judge me.
My roach fear began in year 11. I give full credit to my closest friends for scarring me for life. So this is the way the story goes. Before that particular day, I wasn’t afraid of the fuckers (the roaches I mean), I only thought they were disgusting, and I just hate them when they flew. The main reason for this was that I had heard that if they pee on you, it will cause a rash or something like that. So I used to avoid full contact with them. No fear though. Well not then at least.
One day in school there was a roach in the class and I just expressed my disgust to my friends. What did those lovely beings do? Well about 4 or 5 guys held me, with my arms pinned behind my back, while about 10 others were running around the class chasing the bloody roach. It went under the tables and chairs, through people’s bags and what-not and there was a big ha-ho to try and catch it. So finally one dude got the thing by the antenna (puke) and brought it towards me.
I was kicking and squirming and screaming, trying to break free, but they held on. So the roach was brought closer and closer and I kicked out at the guy who held it. The roach fell from his hand, right onto my LIPS (gaarrhh).
Yes, true, I felt the underside of the roach, those bristly legs and all on my fricking lips. At that very moment I was released and I was trying to get it off my face. It almost fell inside my shirt. Thankfully it never went in my mouth, but that was horrendous enough.
Some months later, the same scene happened. I was held and the roach was brought closer. By then I had developed an immense fear. I don’t know what happened to me that day; I think I kinda blacked out. My friends said I started shivering and my eyes had rolled up. They stopped everything and got me water and tried to get me back to normal. I survived.
Since that event, I have been scarred for life and I don’t think I’ll ever be cured. Whenever I see a cockroach, I remember how its legs felt on my lips that day. I shudder in fear, and I run. Sometimes I shout (I don’t scream) for my parents to come and get rid of the bloody thing. But since recently, the roaches only plague me in the night, when everyone is sleeping. I can’t go running to them then, I still have some pride.
I have anti-roach insecticides all over my room and bathroom, but sometimes they are not that effective as the little bastards still find a way in. So there I am in the confines of my room, with a slipper and some spray or anything I believe that can protect me from the vile creatures, exhausting my mind and body to overcome the fear and just kill them.
I hate them, I just fucking loathe them. I wish they went extinct like the dinosaurs.
So yes, that is my roach phobia. For those of you who are shaking their heads and scoffing, I told you not to judge. I know what you are thinking. Believe me, I’m a guy. I checked.