A new divide I created within, to make sense of the infinite futility that lies inside…

I Was Born Intelligent, But Education Ruined Me

This is not just some fancy line on a t-shirt or a cool personal message. Well it is, but it’s also the truth. I guess these fancily cool lines all have some truth in them. I strongly believe that this overused line is absolutely true. Its cliché and I had second thoughts on using it as the title, but all the cool kids use it so I thought what the hell right?

When I go back to the school years, I remember the boring classes, the silly lecturers and the great friends. It brings back great memories, memories which include, being black listed, cutting classes, getting caught cutting classes, copying homework, copying on exams, being punished, lying through my teeth, running away from teachers, laughing at teachers, making them cry, making my parents feel ashamed of me on parents day etc. Yes this was my school life. And yes, I was a good student. 🙂

It feels good to go back to those carefree days when the main problems in life were how to get through the agonizing periods, how to cut classes and not get caught, what to do if we get caught, how to fall asleep without being noticed in class etc. Those were the good old days until I finished my degree, and although education did ruin me, it was one hell of a ride down. Everything from the anal teachers to the exams, from the high walls in school to the compulsory attendance at ACBT, and the friends who took the risks all conspired to make school life great. Yet, the core concept education was a bit on the low low. And this is what I mean by education ruining us.

The following instances take place between the O/L grades to the end of my degree. There are many more instances, but since I seem to suffer from a certain memory loss thing as of recent, these come from the top of my head. I blame it on the education :). So here goes.

– – – – – – – – – –

Econ teacher in school: In the economic graphs, the curve is a straight line (Eh?)

Accounts lecturer: Ey you, in the corner (That’s me) don’t jack around at the back you bloody buggerman (Errr)

Same Accounts lecturer:  You bloody fool you are laughing so hard blood is coming to your moon!! (His English translation of Moona a.k.a face)

Yet again the same Accounts lecturer: Az you can zee the azzerrtz and the liabilitieeez of the company.. (OK Zirr!)

Some other lecturer: This a very impotent topic, please listen carefully (Ah yes this might come in handy)

Promotional Marketing lecturer: If you have any questions please refer to the text book or the internet, don’t come and ask me and waste my time.

Lecturer: Myself is absent today (Translation: I will not be coming for the class later today)

The infamous Accounts lecturer: I’ll knock you on the head with a tokka ok???

Again, the Accounts guy: Please silence, if you don’t my hand will come and hit you, I won’t hit you, but my hand will hit you. Then don’t call me bad man ok? (This is what I call a beautifully done direct translation)

While the Econ lecturer is saying something in class, my friend raises his hand and says:
‘Sir Dr. Dre kiwwa Marshall Mathers ta, 50 Cent ekka wadiya happenna epa, eya 9 sarayak wedi kaala thiyanawa kiyala.’
Lecturer:  Ah yes, (Pause) Ah what?

Lecturer (When asked about the structure of the exam paper): “I’m the lecturer; I’m not supposed to help you with anything. (Go figure)

Student: Sir, what is materialistic culture.
Lecturer: It’s a country where there are lot of raw materials, for example coal mining countries.

And finally, I present the most definite of proof how education ruins us. This is one of the best, if not the best answer I have heard coming out of a lecturer’s mouth!

Student: Sir, what is Confucianism?
Lecturer: It’s a culture where people are confused (Pause). About their religion.

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12 responses

  1. ‘Please silence, if you don’t my hand will come and hit you, I won’t hit you, but my hand will hit you.’
    LMAO! And ‘BUGGERMAN’! Hahahaaa. Maaan, good ol days eh? 😀

    I think school’s full of the best memories I’ll ever have, man.. we used to just sit around eating samosas and Milo all day and our biggest problems were just finishing homework and staying awake during Bio. 😛 Everyday was a partay!

    February 22, 2009 at 1:05 pm

  2. LOL
    One funny post. I didn’t know they spoke like that, strangely. Teehee…
    Yes, Unsilent, if you don’t behave yourself ‘I’ll knock you on the head with a tokka’ okies?! =P

    February 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm

  3. haha dude the blunders and many and wide apread across all subjects. when you said ‘gettingthrough your periods’i thought you were talking abot something else! but your right, school periods must be AT LEASt as bad!!! nice post man. memories lol.

    February 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm

  4. Dee

    eeeya….which godei school did u go to.. ? 😛 😉 hehehe

    February 22, 2009 at 7:05 pm

  5. haha!!

    Classic you men 🙂

    Sounds like you had looooads of fun…

    Miss school men 😦

    sniffsniff

    February 23, 2009 at 12:54 am

  6. Ha ha ha!! LMAO…. shit…. i guess we’ve all got our list of instances!! this will make a good tag post dude…. good one, enjoyed it!

    February 23, 2009 at 6:54 am

  7. How true, how true. Education almost ruined me. I survive because I was a rebel. Three F’s for my local A levels. Yay!!

    February 23, 2009 at 8:37 am

  8. Maku – Yeah those were the days hehe Buggerman I was the 1st person to be called that 😀 I was very honored

    Sabby – Well they do, and yes myself will be careful hokay don’t want to be knocked on the head by a tokka!

    Whack – Haha perv! Thanks 🙂

    TCD – Yup skewl was kewl

    Dee – Mey mey, nothing wrong with th skewl m’kay.. 😛

    My P – thanks man.. ado consider it open tag.. go for it, actually everyone just write your own instances, it’ll be fun

    JP – Woohoo dude rock on, u saved yourself 😉

    February 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm

  9. Our Senior section principal – Dear students, we need your to help with the fund raising so that we can build a roof over the school swimming pool so that YOU wont get wet when you go for a swim during the monsoon showers! *confused lil kaiser* But sir how does one swim without getting wet?!?!? teachers!!! *sigh* no wonder i grew up to become the moron i am today! 😦 thank god for tertiary education huh?

    February 23, 2009 at 5:30 pm

  10. Accounts lecturer: Ey you, in the corner (That’s me) don’t jack around at the back you bloody buggerman (Errr)

    Made me laugh out loud! The mind boggles!

    February 24, 2009 at 2:50 am

  11. whendesireruns

    Ah yes… I was also taught by Mr. Azzetz… He was something else man! He’s behind most of the funny experiences we had in school. He once threatened to hit us with a *buffalo stick* and asked one of our guys to *stand on his knees*!!! Hilarious!

    Props for the great post man!

    February 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm

  12. ANu

    hey nice work lol. your school life was fun 😛

    July 22, 2010 at 2:50 pm

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