I Was Born Intelligent, But Education Ruined Me
This is not just some fancy line on a t-shirt or a cool personal message. Well it is, but it’s also the truth. I guess these fancily cool lines all have some truth in them. I strongly believe that this overused line is absolutely true. Its cliché and I had second thoughts on using it as the title, but all the cool kids use it so I thought what the hell right?
When I go back to the school years, I remember the boring classes, the silly lecturers and the great friends. It brings back great memories, memories which include, being black listed, cutting classes, getting caught cutting classes, copying homework, copying on exams, being punished, lying through my teeth, running away from teachers, laughing at teachers, making them cry, making my parents feel ashamed of me on parents day etc. Yes this was my school life. And yes, I was a good student. 🙂
It feels good to go back to those carefree days when the main problems in life were how to get through the agonizing periods, how to cut classes and not get caught, what to do if we get caught, how to fall asleep without being noticed in class etc. Those were the good old days until I finished my degree, and although education did ruin me, it was one hell of a ride down. Everything from the anal teachers to the exams, from the high walls in school to the compulsory attendance at ACBT, and the friends who took the risks all conspired to make school life great. Yet, the core concept education was a bit on the low low. And this is what I mean by education ruining us.
The following instances take place between the O/L grades to the end of my degree. There are many more instances, but since I seem to suffer from a certain memory loss thing as of recent, these come from the top of my head. I blame it on the education :). So here goes.
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Econ teacher in school: In the economic graphs, the curve is a straight line (Eh?)
Accounts lecturer: Ey you, in the corner (That’s me) don’t jack around at the back you bloody buggerman (Errr)
Same Accounts lecturer: You bloody fool you are laughing so hard blood is coming to your moon!! (His English translation of Moona a.k.a face)
Yet again the same Accounts lecturer: Az you can zee the azzerrtz and the liabilitieeez of the company.. (OK Zirr!)
Some other lecturer: This a very impotent topic, please listen carefully (Ah yes this might come in handy)
Promotional Marketing lecturer: If you have any questions please refer to the text book or the internet, don’t come and ask me and waste my time.
Lecturer: Myself is absent today (Translation: I will not be coming for the class later today)
The infamous Accounts lecturer: I’ll knock you on the head with a tokka ok???
Again, the Accounts guy: Please silence, if you don’t my hand will come and hit you, I won’t hit you, but my hand will hit you. Then don’t call me bad man ok? (This is what I call a beautifully done direct translation)
While the Econ lecturer is saying something in class, my friend raises his hand and says:
‘Sir Dr. Dre kiwwa Marshall Mathers ta, 50 Cent ekka wadiya happenna epa, eya 9 sarayak wedi kaala thiyanawa kiyala.’
Lecturer: Ah yes, (Pause) Ah what?
Lecturer (When asked about the structure of the exam paper): “I’m the lecturer; I’m not supposed to help you with anything. (Go figure)
Student: Sir, what is materialistic culture.
Lecturer: It’s a country where there are lot of raw materials, for example coal mining countries.
And finally, I present the most definite of proof how education ruins us. This is one of the best, if not the best answer I have heard coming out of a lecturer’s mouth!
Student: Sir, what is Confucianism?
Lecturer: It’s a culture where people are confused (Pause). About their religion.