A new divide I created within, to make sense of the infinite futility that lies inside…

Waiting for the Sun

We sat down on the sand and watched the waves crashing in the darkness. It was the last night of our major 5 day holiday. I wanted to make the most of it before I drove back home into the real world, where lay the usual work week, daily responsibilities and the other miscellaneous personal demons.

It was 4am in Arugam Bay, and I was sitting on the sand with a friend waiting for the sunrise. I always wanted to see the sunrise and missed it in Maldives. It was just a short walk across the island to watch it rise, and I overslept. I had to try very hard to forgive myself for not witnessing it when it was so easy.  I wasn’t going to miss it after driving across the country to Arugam Bay. My hopes were dashed the previous day when it was raining like a bitch and dastardly black clouds covered the skies. Today was much brighter than yesterday, and although I didn’t have any high hopes to see the sunrise, I had enough optimism to forget about the long drive back in the morning and sit on the beach with a drunken friend for two hours to watch it rise.

So there we were with an iPod dock listening to the soothing sounds of Armin Van Buuren’s Zocalo. I felt the guitar riffs pulsating through my stoned mind. I felt the drowsiness creeping in but struck up random conversations to clear them away. The night was cloudless, and we were bathed in the moonlight. It was a beautiful picture and we were in the middle of it while the world around was asleep. As the sky became clearer my hopes began to rise. While having a conversation which I cannot remember I just happened to look up at the dark sky. Through the clouds I saw a luminous green light streaking across the sky. It was like a shooting star, but there was no tail.  I was shocked because it felt so real yet it seemed like a hallucination. I thought I was seeing things until I heard my friend say ‘Woah what was that?’

Then followed a conversation to characterize what we had seen. Was it a shooting star? No, it had no tail, and the greenish colour looked very artificial. Also, it can’t be a plane because planes don’t move like that? So what could it be? Could it be a UFO? No way! We are stoned but that doesn’t mean we should jump to conclusions about seeing things from outer space. Come to think of it we can actually call it a UFO since it’s an unidentified flying object. We couldn’t define what it was and we gave up leaving it as a mystery which intrigued our minds more.

The ocean was dark except for the white slivers of the waves gleaming in the moonlight. I stared at the waves and listened to the sound of it crashing. My mind played wonders on my eyes as I saw things in the sea which I cannot really explain. I still remember what I saw, it was something very natural yet it looked out of this world.

The time was 4.30 am and we decided to smoke up the final J that I rolled especially for this moment, and wait a bit for the buzzing in our heads to settle down, and then hit the water at about 5.15am so that we can chase away the drowsiness and be in the water once the sun came up. So we smoked up while feeling sorry for the other buggers who went to sleep early. It was the last night and we were making full use of it. I had to drive back home but I kicked that thought out of my head so that I could focus on what was at hand. After a while we both leaned back on the sand and stared up at the sky. The stars were contrasting against the black of the sky as they shimmered ostentatiously. Just as I felt myself drifting off, I saw something that made me stare. A star was moving swiftly in the sky. My friend saw it too, so we weren’t imagining it. We followed the journey of this star across the sky until we realized it was a satellite. It circled above us as it made a wide arc across the world we could see. We waved and gave peace signs, happy that we witnessed something like this in that state of mind. This was definitely the best high I ever had. Such a simple moment yet it felt extraordinary.

After the satellite disappeared behind the clouds, we decided to hit the water. It was rough and the waves were high. We didn’t go far and stayed close to the shore. Waves crashed around us and we kept diving into them and riding the waves. One wave spun me underwater and tossed me a fair distance away and I crashed headfast into the water banging my head against the ground. It hurt like a bitch but I wasn’t gonna let that ruin the moment. The sky was getting lighter in the horizon. We could see the beauty of the orange glow as it seeped into the blue black above. Slowly creeping in, pushing the dark side of the sky to the other side of the world so that we could have our share of the sunlight for the day.  The horizon was a fusion of yellow, orange, light blue and dark blue. When I looked back to the other side, it was still night. The moon was out and almost full and stars illuminated the sky. I felt like I was trapped somewhere between night and day. I was totally tripping. What an experience.

We didn’t get to see the sun, as there were dark clouds over the horizon to conceal the spectacle. Obviously put there by nature to mock our optimism of seeing the sunrise. I was a little disappointed, yet everything that happened up to that moment was brilliant and this kept me upbeat. I waited a little longer hoping to see the sun, but it had no plan of showing itself. I walked back out of the water, into our little hotel, feeling glorious deep inside for that unforgettable moment I lived in, and for the fact that I tried my best to see the sun. I knew no one would understand when we told them our story after they woke up. They would think we were stupid to be up and wait, especially for me, when I had a long ass drive back home.

I was happy as I hit the sack. I closed my eyes and pictured everything once again. My last night in this real dream was complete. The minor nagging feeling I had before where I thought we didn’t experience Arugam Bay to it’s fullest was no more. This was the best high yet, and I’m glad it ended with such a smooth bang. I knew nothing could bring me down. I went to sleep at 6.30am, trying to get as much shuteye before I woke up again at 8.30 to leave.  As I look back on that moment, I know that these words I have written cannot do justice to what I felt at that moment. Everything that happened will forever be etched in my memory, because I know that nothing else would do justice to the visions in my eyes, the thoughts in my head and the sensation in my heart.


One response

  1. I lived this through you, for that I am ever grateful. Thanks UD 🙂


    April 17, 2009 at 9:52 pm

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