They can’t bring me back to life. It won’t matter how much they try, they will never succeed. I refuse to go back. I refuse to welcome the world once again. I hear their cries tainted with sorrow, I see their unhindered pain. I feel their tears fall against my body, stinging me with their agony. Sympathy and cold guilt settles in slowly, but that’s not enough to change my mind. Nothing is, now. This numbness I feel is something I craved for so long. I suffered too long, obliviously. My memories plague my brain but I know how to cherish them. And I will do forever. After all, that is all I have to show who I really am. Everything I wanted to be, everything I wanted to do, everything they wanted to see in me was gone. What was, becomes history, what would have been, becomes a mystery. What is, is nothing. It’s over now. It’s time to move on. I feel the numbness overpowering me, caressing my weakness into awakening. I feel myself going blind and the world stops turning. A calm surrender washes over me and I feel released, detached from an anonymous burden. I turn my back to the world, to the life I lived and the love I shared. I turn my back to the world and let the unknown consume me.
For death begins with life’s first breath And life begins at touch of death
They can see me now. It won’t take long before they catch up with me, maybe I can get away from the rush, maybe I won’t be too tired. I know they will catch up, and I will be on the ground trying to catch my breath, on my knees, with a stitch in my side. They will encircle me. They will point their fingers and laugh, some will applaud some will look at me with no emotion. But most will look at me with hatred, with evil hatred, glowing and oozing out of their eyes. They will fill my ears with their sinister laughs that send chills down the spines of the bravest souls. They will shout at me, put me to shame.
When they know that I can’t take any more of the torment, they will come closer. The leader will grab me by my hair and slap me across my face. I will see the look of satisfaction as my eyes cringe in pain. He will slap me again to the cheers and the applause of the others. He will slap me till I’m crying and begging him to stop.
But I will not.
I’m stronger than that.
They can hurt me as long as they want but I will go down like a man. I will die my death in silence, so I could haunt their dreams with my screams. I will look him in the eye as he unsheathes his knife, and looks at its gleaming majesty of a blade. I can see the ruthlessness in his eyes, as he savors the thought of my blood on his hands. He is the king and he is waiting to feed me to his followers.
I can hear them; I can see the hunger in their eyes. But I make no move. I know this is the end. I don’t even try to escape. This is the end.
This is acceptance.
I will die with my eyes open, so that I can have one final look at the monster that will one day pay. He raises his hand, the crowd around me goes into an ephemeral silence, watching and waiting. Watching and waiting. I look him in the eyes, with a look of hatred to match his own. He matches my gaze and the moment stands still. I can see the knife coming down now, slowly steadily, his eyes brighten I feel it coming closer. An inaudible gasp, I can hear from behind him. Not a gasp of fear but of awe. Awed by a revered god who is ending the life of an enemy, giving life to their own.
Blinding pain has become my chest. I feel everything going numb. Suddenly I feel like I have been detached. My legs and hands don’t feel like they belong here, as they slump weakly. I can hear the applause now, muffled. I can feel myself falling. I can see him looking down at me his eyes as dark as ever.
I can feel the darkness coming closer. I fight myself to keep my eyes open so that I can hold on to what’s left of me. The void is swallowing me up swiftly. Suddenly my mind feels free, and my body feels lightweight. I feel my face meet the ground. The deed is done. They killed me like they promised they would. Now they would leave my body rotting in a place where it will be impossible to be found. In years to come they will talk about the traitor who was killed in the forbidden forest. The tale will fall on many ears but then be slowly forgotten as every legend has its own timeline.
The leader has a smug smile on his face. He has won, and he will be venerated by his followers for his power over the weak. He is feeling invincible, because at his feet I lie dead. But it isn’t over. He only killed my body. My spirit still lives to avenge myself.
To avenge the death of an incomplete life.
My spirit will wait for that defining moment, to unleash the fury that he instigated. When that defining moment comes and the tables have been turned, the leader will beg for mercy. But I will show him none. Because in my heart lies a hatred so strong that it knows of nothing other than revenge itself. And I will feed that revenge to my soul, as a last supper, as a parting gift, as my goodbye to the world and its misery.
The Kill is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License