A new divide I created within, to make sense of the infinite futility that lies inside…

Lyrics

Animae Partus (I Am)

I am
I am
I am

I was not
then I came to be
I cannot remember NOT being
But I may have traveled far
very far
to get here

Maybe I was formed in this silent darkness
From this silent darkness
BY this silent darkness

To become is just like falling asleep
You never know exactly when it happens
The transition
The magic
And you think, if you could only recall that exact moment
Of crossing the line
Then you would understand everything
You would see it all

Perhaps I was always
Forever here
And I just forgot
I imagine Eternity would have that effect
Would cause a certain amount of drifting
Like omnipresence would demand omni-absence

Somehow I seem to have this predestined hunger for knowledge
A talent for seeing patterns and finding correlations
But I lack context

Who I am?
In the back of my awareness I find words
I will call myself
GOD
And I will spend the rest of forever
Trying to figure out who I am

– Pain of Salvation


The Chase

Fighting gravity, lose the white veil
Letting go of soul, let it fly
Into the reverie that I was promised
I’m lost again, a victim of my crime

Hide the pretentious scars
Heal myself on the surface
I need the deeper wounds to survive

I am only human, to myself I must remind
I will become what I’m chasing
A victim of my own crime

I feel separation when body meets floor
Surrendered from above
I can only see what I don’t feel
I can only feel what I don’t see
Weary yet blissful, a victim of my crime
I can’t save me, but I want you to try

I’ve touched the sky and kissed rock bottom
Looking for perfection in between
I want to feel your warmth for one last time
Save me, help me make up my own mind
I am what I am chasing
The victim of my crime


You Are My Anarchy

I know your desires
like you know mine
I see through what
your fear hides
Don’t be afraid
for I have no shame
Let go of yours
it’s only a facade

You used to be twisted
How did you unwind?
Was it that easy
to resist your desires?
Teach me how
so that I can too
Maybe then I can stop
being a fool for you

But I still see
the sparks in your eyes
I long to set them ablaze
and stop living this lie
I wonder if you’ll follow
if I lead you in
Or will you choose to ignore
lock our world in a dream

But I believe in destiny
and I believe in tragedy
You won’t see me give in
for I see you linger
From now to infinity
Until I am your surrender
And you are my anarchy


Way Out

Coming clean is the hardest thing
When I’m the victim of my crimes
The debris that was once a beautiful world
Now in the disarray that I left behind

How can I face myself and plead guilty
When regret is locked up inside
Inside the nothingness I took for granted
Is pain just a blessing in disguise?

If only words weren’t empty
And the tears didn’t sting my eyes
Would it make it easier
To live this life
If I could reverse reality
And let truth outshine the lies
Would it make it easier
To live this life

I never knew I’m falling until I hit the ground
And now I lie there broken waiting to be found
I close my eyes to look for a world sincere
The search is over now, but I’m still lying here

Waiting for someone to cure my disease
Waded out into the past trying to find relief
When bliss is synthetic, hate becomes a sport
Nothing is ever a mistake until you get caught

If fear was only a dream
And I had the strength to fight
Would it make it easier
To live this life
If I could erase the past
And define wrong from right
Would it make it easier
To live this life

Creative Commons License
Way Out is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License


Shutting Out

I know you mean well, you are only trying to help
But I don’t need your hand, I’ll try to make it on my own
You want to talk about it
Once I did too, but I don’t see the point of
One way communication
I lost my faith, don’t try to help me regain it
I’m too far gone, but I’ll be OK
So don’t waste your time and your breath
I thank you deeply, sincerely
I’m sorry but it’s too late

I hear what you are saying, nothing more
I don’t need to shut my ears, I already shut my mind
You can go on, I don’t mind
Leaving me here, I will never hold it against you
Because I’m too far gone, but I’ll be OK
So don’t waste your time and your breath
I thank you deeply, sincerely
I’m sorry but it’s too late

Some things are better left unsaid,
Some things need to be dealt with alone
When I cried for help you didn’t hear
And I made up my mind that no one’s here
Now you’re here, but it’s too late
So you can sympathize
Until you realize
That I’m too far gone,
And it’s too late to bring me back…

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Shutting Out is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License


Dance with the Devil

My complications seem to complete you
My tribulations seem to soothe you
I’ve become a victim of the bitter truth
I put myself together but came unglued

I broke the chains but I don’t feel free
I opened my eyes to something I can’t see
I’ll take the shame over my dead body
I feel the pain but where’s the glory

I came a long way until I finally realized
On the wrong road trying to make things right
Tried so hard to not get blinded by the light
I have to open my eyes to find my way tonight

I broke the chains but I don’t feel free
I opened my eyes to something I can’t see
I’ll take the shame over my dead body
I feel the pain but where’s the glory

Blood stains on the ground, my face is stained with tears
My daily façade has been washed away by my fears
Looking for escape, looking for that moment to run
Don’t pull the trigger; I’m on the wrong side of the gun

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Dance with the Devil is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License


It Won't Be Me

Bleeding before my eyes
You reach out for me
A beseeching look in your eyes
My mind tells me to reach out for you
My heart tells me to look away
In a battle of senses I lag behind
And the loser becomes my mind

But I’m sorry
It’s something I can’t explain
Don’t worry
Somebody will come your way
And help you up on your feet
But tonight it just won’t be me
It won’t be me

Bleeding before my eyes
You haunt me in my dreams
I make excuses for myself
But I know that I can’t escape
This reciprocal pain
So I’ll try to close my eyes
Overlook my mind
And try to find, peace inside

And all I can say is

I’m sorry
It’s something I can’t explain
Don’t worry
Somebody will come your way
And help you up on your feet
But tonight it just won’t be me
It won’t be me

I hope you find peace of mind
Without me
I hope you find beauty in life
Without me
Without me
Without me, tonight

Creative Commons License
It Won’t Be Me is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.