A new divide I created within, to make sense of the infinite futility that lies inside…

Posts tagged “mystery

A Bittersweet Lullaby

Immersed in my bittersweet lullaby
I lie awake, dead of night dreams
intercoursing my thoughts
To find myself I had to get lost
Underneath a prodigious moon
The waves glisten with deep secrets
Crashing into shadows as foam
Overlaps the truth

I’m hidden beneath the sand
With the footprints washed away
I lie asleep but I am awake
dead of night dreams haunting me
Taking me further
There’s no war this silence can end

I’m lost again
on the road back to who i am
Embracing me reminding me
What is here is only a figment
Of what never really was

Underneath a prodigious moon
To find myself I had to get lost
Dead of night dreams
Intercoursing my thoughts,
I lie awake
Immersed in my bittersweet lullaby

A Prisoner of Your Eyes

Prisoner of Your Eyes

Your eyes inspire me in so many ways. There’s a dark beauty inside that resonates a story in my head. It heightens my pulse and makes my heart beat faster. It pierces my darkness and leaves me hanging for a moment. I’m a prisoner of your eyes, lost, alone and enwrapped in bliss. A passionate mystery in which I find escape.  An ephemeral wave of hope it brings, like the flickers of a candle about to burn out, glowing bright in its final moment before the darkness encloses. Just as it began, the wave ends, leaving me yearning for more. Yearning to look deep into your eyes again and embrace your soul to feel the warmth I’ve never felt. The whispers of your soul instigate the words I long to say, through my veins and into my fingers, on to a random piece of paper. Meanings form in black ink and the paper becomes a treasure. The treasure I lock away from the prying eyes of the world, so that I only I could read the story of your eyes. The story that illuminates the darkness and pieces together the fragments which fall apart, the story that sheds hope to the quiet desolation within, the story that reminds me of everything I yearn for and everything I will never attain.

Free Falling

I feel disconnected from my brain. My memory is fading and there is a dark cloud where my thoughts used to be. I feel the little things in my mind slowly go out of focus. It’s like every piece of my memory is subject to spontaneous combustion. I try to salvage them but thus far, I have  no luck. My head aches each time my thoughts ignite. I feel like I’m stumbling across my brain and I don’t know where I’m headed. It seems familiar, yet strange, like the feeling of déjà vu. I know I have been here before and experienced a similar feeling but I don’t what to attribute it to and when it happened. It’s like a dream that is playing over and over again.  I can feel my thoughts floating around me. I reach out to grab them, but they flutter by, out of reach like butterflies.

Confusion is what I am made of right now. It is what urges me forward to find the answers and yet also holds me back. If this goes on, how will I end up? Without a single memory? Would I have to start again from scratch? Making my way back to where I am now, through all the trials and tribulations between here and square one? Will I make the same decisions? If change my course will I be the same person I am now? If I change my course, will I remember who I am now, at least subliminally, to compare myself with who I was before? If l look in the mirror will I recognize myself? Will I realize that I am actually looking into a mirror?

I feel the thoughts burning, crackling as they raze into oblivion. The inferno is overpowering me. My confusion strengthens the flames. I hit a brick wall. Inside my head, walls seem to spring up from nowhere. I look around; trying to make sense of the path, but it is difficult to see through the maze. Is this where I give up and say goodbye to my mind? Is this the end? What should I do when I’m afraid to let go of something I’m afraid to hold on to?

The Illusion

It’s just an illusion
The lines of trust we draw
It’s just a mirage
In the desert of our hearts
We make a silent promise
But our actions speak louder
We try to break from sin
Only to get closer
Our words feel so empty
And too bitter to taste
We spit out in disgust
In the memory of our waste
Now we live to satisfy
Some other self than self
In this life of mystery
Forever seeking help

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The Illusion is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License

In the Candlelight Darkness

Our little room was dark and we sat blindly, in silence. Looking at the nothingness the light left behind. I could hear you breathing. The only sign to show me you are in the room with me. Similarly, my deep breaths were the only way I indicated to you that I’m still there. Was the thought comforting? Or did you want to stay in the room alone? Time passed on, while the darkness lingered around. Time passed by some more, and then you spoke. Your voice was barely a whisper. You were tired of the darkness. You wanted to see the light again. And in this room, I always carry the candle.

I sat in silence. I was getting used to the darkness. My mind felt empty for once. But I gave in. I lit the candle. We were bathed in the soft glow, glimmering, illuminating our little world. Shadows were cast and every movement we made, made the walls come alive. I smiled at you. You smiled back. We were enjoying the light. There was a feeling of new found splendor in the room. It was like a secret that we shared. I looked around at the shadows. They were waiting to mimic me.

I saw you looking at the candle, and its flame. The dancing flame in your eyes did not illuminate the back of your mind. You left me wondering what you were thinking. You got up and walked up to me and held my hand. For a long time we stood there, just looking at each other. Then you looked at the candle once more. What were you thinking? I did not want to ask. You let go of my hand and looked away. I was waiting for you to turn back to me, but you were looking at the shadows now. I looked away; I did not want to see the shadows again. You turned back to me and gave a weak smile. It was nothing like the smile you gave me before. In the back of my head, I felt a slight tinge of suspicion creep in. I watched as you looked at the candle again.

It was as if the light was confusing you. Did it make you see things you did not want to see? Were you dissatisfied with what the light showed of me? Would you rather indulge in the blind oblivion that the darkness presented? Everything was alright a moment ago. Is the light playing tricks on your eyes? An abundance of thoughts ran through my head as I watched you in silence. Your eyes had a shadow, I have never seen before. When you looked at me, it felt like you were looking right through me as if you didn’t see me. Then you leant forward and blew the candle, bathing us in the darkness again.

You stood up and walked away from me, walking confidently as if you could see clearly in the dark. I watched your figure move away from me. You opened the door and stepped out of the room, leaving me in the darkness. You did not even look back nor say a word. You just left me with a mystery, alone in the darkness and closed the door behind you.

If you never wanted the light why did you tell me to light the candle?

Blood & Ink

Shadows of a thousand doubts seep in
Lingering, clouding up the thicket of my mind
My only escape is this pen and paper
My Excalibur, a key unlocking the gateway to my soul
My weapon of choice, my only protection
I find solitude in words, once unfamiliar thoughts
Like a dagger shedding blood of an enemy
I draw first blood from my pain

I write my thoughts, my pain, my everything
To break the invisible chains holding me
To hold on when I know I’m falling
To open my eyes to the things I can’t see
To escape from the enemy in me

A master of the art of escape
Crumple up the paper if I feel perfect
I know that the paper will never be perfect again
No matter how hard I pretend
So I write my thoughts, my pain, my everything
And lock it in a box for no one to see
A smile to disguise myself
The world will never feel the pain
And the paper will one day be forgotten
And the world will never ever know

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Blood & Ink is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License


I am nothing, but a book unread
Tossed aside, in the collecting dust
at the bottom of the pile
judged by the cover
Not worth the look inside
not worth the turn of a page
not worth the read of a line

But a flip though the pages,torn,
of my life, you will find
A world unknown
A journey unsung
An image obscure
Of tears and joy,
of hope and despair,
of love and hate,
The things i stand for
and everything in between

But until that day, you look inside
I’ll always be that book, unread
tossed aside, in the collecting dust

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Obscurity is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.